Tonight I got my feelings hurt. I was cussed out, told off and hung up on. I sit here and think of all the things that were said to me. I sit here and think of all the things I didn’t say back. The second person called and I hung up the phone when I heard the first cuss word. The voicemail recorded all the anger and the hurt. I saved the first one. Two minutes long. The second one erased. It was only a minute long. Those three minutes combined will come up during quiet moments in my future for the rest of my life. Words not to be forgotten.
I’m too angry to be hurt. I know, if not tomorrow, a few days from now I will feel the heartache. Right now, my intent is to shut the whole world off. I want to believe that this is the reason I walk this earth alone. Why I don’t trust. Why I feel like there is no one to turn to.
Then…my son walks into the room. He puts his arms around me and sings his off key version of “Everything is going to be all right,”. I laugh. Then, I think of the MeetUp group I joined, which was started to bring women together to pull one another up. Our book for this Month is Year of Yes by Shonda Rhimes.
This has been a year filled with women’s rights, and women’s empowerment. More of us are joining together than those of us cat fighting. We are all on a journey to live life on our terms. Collectively, we have changed what women are supposed to do, to what we are willing to do. More so, what we will not tolerate. Girl power has taken on a new life in 2018.
I think of my business coach and all the work she puts in to keep me not just motivated, but pointed in the direction to think like an entrepreneur. I now remember I have work to do. I am mad at myself for having wasted so much energy on this issue for the last five days.
Isolation is good when we need to think. It’s perfect when we are doing the work. When it comes to moving our products, finding customers, sharing our knowledge, for that, we need each other. I couldn’t do what I do without the right people. Why have a blog if no one is going to read it? Why write the great American novel if it’s only going to sit on the author’s shelf? Why build it if nobody is going to come?
I know I need to work on my elevator pitch for an upcoming networking meeting. I might not be crazy about going to them, but that is where you meet your customers, your mentors, your future friends and partners. Businesses need people. People need each other. Back to the mirror I go to practice.
My relationship with two people ended tonight. I won’t say I am okay with that. I do know in time it will get easier. I wish I could have been the person doing the cussing and the hanging up, but that’s not my personality. That, I am okay with. Sometimes a particular part of the journey comes to an end. I won’t lose the lesson. I will eventually let go of the pain.
Isn’t that what life is about? It keeps moving, so we need to also.
Here’s to our journey.
You are so worth it!